Have you ever been on a scavenger hunt as a kid? Or maybe as an adult with those global caching games?
You’ve got a list of stuff to find, you break out into teams, and see who can find them all first.
You can use this same concept, alone or with a group of guys (online or off) to significantly decrease your level of approach anxiety.
Consider how most people met. They met in a situation where they weren’t there specifically to “meet’ people. In a class, in line at the supermarket, at somebody’s wedding, or through social connections. Bunch of people get together, and it just “happens.”
From a mathematical standpoint, you’d have much better luck going out specifically to meet people. Every night you’d have four or five good candidates to sort through.
On the other hand, if you waited for it to “just happen,” you might be waiting a long time.
So why do so many people meet in a mathematically less than ideal situation? Since they’re not there to “meet,” there’s no pressure. You see some cutie in the grocery store, and you start talking without having time to get nervous.
Or you sit next to a girl in class, and after a few interactions, you realize she’s a normal person just like you, and it just kind of “happens.”
On the other hand, going out to clubs or coffee shops or bookstores in order to “pick up” can be incredibly nerve wracking. You’re there for one specific reason, and if you don’t get what you’re after, you feel like a failure.
Here’s where the trick comes into play. Get together with some buddies, online or off, and organize a “scavenger” hunt.
Have a contest, to see who can collect five phone numbers, or five names, or five eye contacts and smiles, or whatever you agree with.
This will open up the competitive spirit that males naturally have, and also put every interaction with a woman into a larger context, so you’ll be less likely to focus on her solely. If you ask for the number and she says no, you’ll be much more likely to move on to the next one.
And guess what? When you’re out there having fun, competing against your buddies, you’ll actually meet some pretty nice girls, who will actually expect you to call them and date them.
And that IS what you’re ultimately after, right?